Good news!!!

Today I got some news that has me very excited. I was in moms room and walked up to tell the director of nursing I wanted to talk to her when she had some time. She stopped what she was doing and said mom ate 100% of her lunch. I thought good. Then she told me she tried to give her a built up spoon and mom would not use it. I thought Oh well. Then she added so she gave her a regular spoon and she fed herself her whole meal!!!!!! and ate it all. That got me excited. Not just the cold stuff like she did at the hospittal but all of it.

I asked her about her children she said the youngest name, added and, then said the middle sons name, and then added and, again but did not say more. Yet I can tell by her eyes she knows me somehow. She want the wrist part if the immobliser off. might be a long two weeks, yet. She wants to go home but will not tell me where home is.

On the last weekend she got a patrotic Felix the cat. She loves to hold him in her left arm She really likes him and tuck him in with her to sleep. =-)

Cut me to the quick

Much of the comments she makes hurt. She is getting demanding. ;-) But she told me I do not care about her. I replied that is why I come every day and she said I do not. I do but she does not remember I am sure. Then her asking to go home hurts too.

progress ?

She was doing well both times I stopped in today asking for me to take her home and with me. I was told she ate 100% of her meal. I was not able to stay very long either time but she was watching TV today again. Mom had the room dark again as well.

She loves that Patriotic Felix she has. Still wonder where it came from. =-)

Today mom was awake both times I droppes in to see her.

Today mom was awake both times I dropped in to see/visit her. The first time she was in the dinning room and told me to "take her with me" She also wanted my jacket as hers again. The second time she did not say much. She did ask me to read the Bible to her which I did. She also wanted the two sons with me to sing to her. It is clear she knew the songs. She also asked that we turn off the light as she was going to bed for the evening. There was a stuffed patriotic animal in her room she wanted to sleep with it. So I let her tuck it in her arms. She was even using her right fingers!!!! Yes!

Now to teach her to walk again. Or just to do it. I as told I got her going on Saturday when I was there on Sunday. They said she was talking for a long time after that!

I was there at the wrong time today

With commitments at 8:30 A.M., 10:00 A.M., and 6 P.M., some mending for mom's clothes I had gotten from the house, and dress pants for two members of our home. I got there about mid afternoon. I took my knitting if she was tired or if we could watch a movie together. The nurses said she was very alert today. I was relieved to hear that. =-) She ask to go home again but would not tell me where home is. =-(
Yet I got there as she and her roommate were napping. I opened the curtains for the plants. She wanted them closed. Then kept asking until I closed them 5-10 minutes later. I turned on the T.V. so we could find something to watch. I turned on the light over her bed. Then she wanted the light over her bed off and the then the T.V off. I kept the light on long enough to read Psalm 9 to her and sang "Jesus Loves Me" but she would not sing along today. She wanted the light off before, so I could not sing anything else. Yet she was agitated enough by any light, I could not sit in the dark and knit or tat or read. So I came home sooner than I was planning to.

The rest of my household went to Waterloo to do lawn maintenance. Only the rain prevented them from getting much done. Other than I hope they got the blade sharpened and the rototiller removed and lawn mower put back on. I better check if they got that all done.

Keep praying for dear youngest brother.

Went to the Eye Dr., Heard Back from her Dr.

Well where did today start? I know. I picked up the boys after my meeting and a return to the library that was missed last night. Then I was on my way to drop them so I could take mom to eye Dr. She was out of bed and dressed, the bus was there to get her. Yet we were not ready. She was in her Geri chair, not the wheel chair to go. I slipped on her shoes. Then we had to wait for a tray (which did not stay one well). The bus driver was not happy. We got there she did well giving them the information they needed out of her on the eye chart. The eye Dr. here whats to see her again in first he said 4 weeks, then changed it to 6 months. (sigh)

The hospital in Waterloo said they needed a death certificate to talk to me. (sigh) They also sent me a 112.80 bill to see her records so we will be taking about how that is wrong as well as all else.

I called about a stock we just learned about in yesterday mail but he did not call back. (sigh)

Some where this morning I talked to the nurse who had talked to mom's Dr. in Waterloo about why he said she needed all those medicines on 30 April (at least 11), they were ALL stopped on May 1, and only a couple started after May 5. He said they are monitoring stuff like her blood pressure so no need to medicate that unless it changes. As for the others she can stay off them until they see a need for one they may add it back. Without seeing he he could not say much more.

I told every one today I would like to have mom back home before August 10, 2007. I am hoping by about August 7 or close to that. The head nurse at the nursing home even raised my hopes today that she could ride in a wheel chair by then. So I am encouraged.

Well it is late and I am tired, so time to call it a day. Tomorrow mowing at mom and dads place.

Not Good News

Well I did get to the nursing home in time to see the Dr. yesterday. He said mom has progress where the dementia medicines are no longer helping her. So no longer any need for them.

The nursing home informed me that mom lunges forward and backward so hard that she is unsafe in a wheelchair, and needs help with everything. So they feel she is not showing enough improvement, which has her becoming private pay.

They did not mention calling Hospice which is what the hospital was saying. I believe I will call them anyway. She is off her blood thinners which increases her likely hood of having another stroke. She is bleeding internally and they see no reason to look for it any further.

She is eating good but that is about all I can say. Her drinking she drinks way to fast. So they have to give her little bits for sips.

Mom says...

Well now for days mom has said, "Take me home." Yet when I ask where home is she gives no answer. She also tells me "Take me with you." Which breaks my heart as I would love to but know I could not handle her. We come and go too much she would be alone and that would not be acceptable as the Dr. said right after dad died she cannot be left alone.

The Dr. still has not been there to see her. (sigh) They did tell me he comes once a month, at one point. Yet they told me he was coming on Wednesday last Friday. This morning I was told he is coming today, this afternoon. So I rearranged things to be there and was told after 2 hours he would be in on Tuesday morning. With all we have have on Tuesday I hope they are correct. They know I want to ask the Dr about her medications and bleeding. They said they would send him in to see her first. I had been told last week he had two patients to come see, I wonder if there is any more? Does not really matter. I just know with ds 14 class and piano lessons for three sons I do not have time to wait there for the Dr. if they were wrong again.

I need to ask if they are letting her feed herself what she can as, she needs to. I showed them on Saturday or Sunday evening.

I this a sign mom is getting better?

I this a sign mom is getting better? I have heard two things about it. Her appetite has been very good. They comment that she still seems hungry when her meal is finished. The other thing I have been told about her being hungry I do not want to think about.

While she wants to go home she does not tell me where home is. So I can only guess where her mind thinks home is. She does seem to know my face is familiar but i do not know if she knows I am her daughter.

Physical Therapy said she had a good day Thursday. She did not appear to be cooperating with them on Friday when they told me this.

Mom has a good appetite

I think Mom is getting better. Today they got her dresses and took her to the dining room. Where they had been helping her to eat in bed, prior to today. They have her restricted to using some thing called a Gerry chair where she lays reclined. The aid thought that is because of her immobilizer. The new Dr. should see her tomorrow. Then I want to read her chart. I would like to talk to him as well.

Some times she will say something but I do not understand what she is trying to say. Other times she repeats me. (Like she has been doing for a long time.)

She sings part of Jesus Love Me with me each time, I see her which is encouraging to me. I have been making it over there for short visits a couple of times a day at various hours. I still need to check in late at night, though.

Mom Moved Today

The hospital would not let me bring her, or let her sit in a wheel chair. So they made us use a more expensive transport service. To which I was quoted a price and the driver thought it was lower than it should have been. Yet he took what I had been quoted. Mom slept much of the way, yet woke up scared from time to time. I rode with her and assured her all was well. I got to the hospital right about the same time as the driver. I had hoped to be there earlier but that did not happen. Mom was NOT dressed and ready to go. So I dug her clothes out and learned she need button up tops until her right arm is better. It is in a immobilizer for now. So her current address is
Dubuque Nursing and Rehabilitation Center
Ann M_ _ _ _ _ _ room A-10
2935 Kauffmann Ave.
Dubuque, Iowa 52001

I hope to have her back in Waterloo, walking and feeding her self soon. It was nice to be at an appointment with my family at 5, take the boys to Boy Scouts at 7, and check in on her until they got her ready for bed about 8. They are very nice there.

I need to go back to Waterloo for her brush at the hospital, her socks, button tops, and under garments, I will have to go Tuesday or Wednesday. I hope she can get well. Still debating what to do about her follow up eye appointment (May 25th) and her dentist appointment June 14. I have time, so that is good.

She did say she wanted the other bed not by the window. They said they have a T.V she can use I would not want to bring the Big screen or the 25 " from her home and we only have one 19" here. So if she gets a T.V. Her favorite son-in-law will become her best friend, to watch the Cubs. Her room needs a chair. I would like to move things around a little.

The only one I talked to from the hospital today was the social worker and the the CNA who helped her leave. So I am going to be reading the doctors notes soon.

Thank you Mom and B

Brother B called to night to wish me a Happy Mothers Day? How nice and told me he fed mom lunch and supper she ate all of both, and even had a second helping of mashed potatoes and gravy she ate about 10 bites of. He filled out her menu's for tomorrow. I told him if we hold it close she can feed her self and needs to. But I am planning to have her hear tomorrow, well before supper. I have an appointment at 5 I need to be at the house for, the friend who can drive my van back can not go before 10 but cannot afford any extra time. So I pray they can give me the details straight tomorrow, Morning. it would be nice if she can go in the late morning or early afternoon. By mid afternoon, it would mess with that appointment.

Not as planned, Still unsure

The plan was to go a little later on Friday, as I was going to be there late anyway. (Ds 16 was competing for a shot at state in track, in the area.) So I left about 10 AM getting there a about noon. I fed mom lunch (clear fluids) and left when it was getting close to time for our son to compete. I went back between when he was running. what I learned was she was having the colonoscopy at 6:30 A.M. Yikes!(Saturday). DH said I should stay, as much as I did not want to I knew I would not make it back if I got home at 11 P.M. (or later). I further knew it would be unsafe. So I ask to have ds 11 stay with me and we stayed the evening at there home. I set that alarms for 5:35 and was up every hour most of the night. Yet I managed to get there just after they had taken mom back about 6 or 6:10 A.M. Still the Dr. did come out and talk to me after ward. He did not find what he was expecting. No polyps or cancer! (YEA) he did find some little ulcers (rats). All in all it made for a every long day. DH went to take care of there yard today. So he took ds 11 when we met up for a late lunch. I did get mom's Bible, and some clothes for if she goes to the nursing home here on Monday. I think I will have to replaced elastic in the waist bands for 2-3 pairs of the pants I found I hope they fit her. Glad to be back home and seeing an end to being there daily. Now I am praying mom can be walking and feeding here self soon AND I can have her house ready for her to go home soon!

10 May 2007

Well as today started, I was getting ready to head over to Waterloo early. I updated my blog while my 16 year old was in the shower. Then I headed in to the shower myself, and as I was toweling off the phone rang. It was mom's hospital, Dr. calling. Her blood level was very low. Time for yet another decision. She is bleeding internally again. If we do not give her blood she will die, call hospice. If we do give her blood we should try to see if she can get well enough to do the colonoscopy. Which the Dr. does not think she is strong enough for. So I asked to give her some blood to buy me time to pray about what to do. I called 4 prayer warriors to join me. Then sthe doctor talked to me in person when I was there. She wanted a decision by late today.

Well I made the decision even though I am very unsure of what I am doing is right. I am going to have them do the colonoscopy. If she survives, Monday I hope to bring her here.

Dr. Kahal talked to me again today

While she greeted me with news that mom has had a massive stroke, and she did not see mom leaving the hospital. I told her, I cannot live with her staying here. So we discussed bringing mom to a nursing home over here. The social worker asked about her ability to make the ride over which has been running though my mind, too.

They did NOT find the she was bleeding into her stomach which could be fixed with a pill. What that leads to is mom up to finding where she is bleeding from. The Dr. believes not and if she were up to finding where she is bleeding from, she further believes mom is not up to treating it. So she will remain off blood thinners. Which the Dr. believes will lead to a stroke that does her in. Yet the Dr. added that since she has had a stoke while on the blood thinner for some time she does not think it helps her anyway.

I talked with Bonnie and she reminded me of several things, they have been wrong about with mom. She is so very helpful. Starting with she should not be her now, well she is so let us help her. Moving on they said if she ate she would die of pneumonia. She is getting stronger when she eats, if they quit putting her to sleep all the time! (May 1-3, took a couple day s to wear off. May 7 and 9. Still she is getting stronger.) Ultimately it is out of human hands and has been. Yes I did authorize them putting her to sleep on the 7 & 9th, as she need that dislocated shoulder put back in place and to see if she was bleeding into her stomach. I think if she makes it out of there she will make it longer then if she stays.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow I love you tomorrow, your only a day away.

They will find out about the blood in moms stomach. Is it dripping, is it steady, how should we treat it? I hope to know answers sometime after 7 A.M. I wish I was not a 2 hour drive away. Then again I need to be here for my family, too. Mom did not eat breakfast good for Brian, today. Yet she did eat half her eggs and a couple of bites of oatmeal. However, I was told she ate all her lunch, and all her supper. She did seem to me to be more alert and aware yesterday than today. Must be the dementia. The speech therapist said she did good for her. Yet the Physical therapist said he would come back later and did not return before I left. Mom has asked about Craig by name the last two days. She wanted to know where he is, tonight she asked Bonnie about him, yesterday she asked Brian and I about him. We called him and told him she was asking about him.

I called the nerve Dr. today and said I do not want her to be on Seriquil (I hope I spelled that correctly) anymore. I do think starting that 8-9 days before being hospitalized is what put her there, and caused the stoke.

Saturday

We met with Mom's doctor, Doctor Smith, to talk about her prognosis. Dr. Smith didn't give her much hope, saying it was likely she had had a stroke, and that her ability to swallow was impaired. Without the ability to swallow properly, a person will take some of the food they swallow into their lungs, which is called 'aspiration'. That causes pneumonia and eventually, death. Dr. Smith thinks mom is in such poor condition that her only hope of survival, for even a limited time, is the insertion of a feeding tube, which we agreed was against her wishes as expressed in the living will. We told Dr. Smith that we wanted to do everything possible short of the feeding tube to get mom's strength back and hopefully regain the level of functioning she had before this incident. We asked the doctor to order a nutrient IV, which she did, and to help us press the nurses to feed her in order to help her gain the strength to heal. We were able to feed her some juice and jello, and she seemed to perk up a little. Yet the nurses seemed just to be waiting for her to die and unconcerned about helping her fight to live. We continued to pray for God's will, whatever it would be, while working to keep her alive as best we could.

What is Happening on Monday

The hospital just called. Mom's right should is dislocated. It must have happen when she tripped coming out of the bathroom. Or when she fell, when the ambulance was called. Are my guesses? They are going to put it back in place tomorrow morning non surgically.

No wonder she cried out when they tried to to turn her on her right side on Saturday.

Today many things went better. She would not eat for Brian, this morning. She did eat a little for the hospital. Mom told Bonnie who all the people were in the pictures, and asked Bonnie to read the Bible to mom. Brain and his family came in and she ate some more. He sang to her. She was alert when Bonnie came in in the after noon and stayed alert until at least 2.25 hours. YEAH! She asked to go home but Brian did not ask her where home is. (Oh well, I only know because of Grandpa M.) You are never quite sure where a dementia patients memory is unless you ask. I am encouraged!

I have a LONG list of call to make for mom tomorrow, before heading over there. Better call it a day so I can get on them early.

Not happy with the Hospital

Not happy with the hospital. At least mom is getting some food. She enjoyed all her jello and at least half of her apple juice by spoonfuls while we were there tonight.

We had a talk with the doctor today. She is not hopeful for mom at all. I am sure they have seen this many times and do not want to raise our hopes, however they should be a mouse in the corner of that room. I hated leaving tonight she was so alert after she got some nourishment.

Her ear needs drained again and they do not want to mess with it. sigh I would be sleeping with no food as well.

The doctor ordered a nutrition IV this morning they still were not giving when I left this evening.

She enjoys seeing the recent picture of her and dad.

Update

Currently mom is not eating, walking or talking so she can be understood. She is still sleeping a lot even through the sedation has been removed.

I plan to get her a search word book (she loves those), a newspaper, she can still read, and bring her a few pictures from my house and hers, today. She loves flowers and plants.

Feeding tube or no?

The nurse discussed this subject with me today. So I have something more to pray about. And what does mom want at this point? This is a x dollar question.

The good or better news is Mom is breathing on her own without a ventilator. No more insulin since mid night last night. And she was moved to a regular room so she can now have visitors now, yes she got out of ICU today!

So if you want to send her a card as she can still read. Ann M (well you know how to spell the last name, for her security I will not spell it here.)
C/O Covenant Medical Center
3421 W 9th St.
Waterloo, IA 50702

Well I should go call the nurse and check on her again.

Ambulance

Bonnie call the ambulance about 1320 hours, then me. I left the boys at Piano lessons. I sat in Emergency from when I got there about 1500 hrs until about 1700 hrs. I called both brothers and stayed until about 2030 hours. When I got home about 2200 hours Both brothers and her pastor had been there again.

Her kidneys are a problem. Her iron is very low. They gave her blood as I was leaving last night. Call me if you need any more information I do not know when I will be back.